Multi-generational living

My children are back and with them came my parents.  When we moved away from the big city 4 years ago my parents retired early and came to live in our home.  We created, well they created mostly, a separate living space on our lowest level.  It is completely self contained.  In the past 4 years they really haven't been here much, maybe half the time.  My father was not ready to retire, he was ready to retire from his previous job, but not ready to settle into a full retirement.  They go off to work sometimes across our big country and other times they head down south to vacation for a few months.  Each time it tears my mother to pieces.  She adores our children, they both do really.  This is why the boys just returned from being gone for a week and half.  My parents needed to make a pit stop in the big city on their way back from a couple months out west.  They couldn't wait the week to see the boys so off the boys went to stay with my parents.

There are so many benefits to having my parents live with us.  My parents love yard work and we have a big yard to work on, my mother adores raking leaves and we have umpteen million of them to rake each fall, my dad loves to keep busy and we have had many renos to keep him busy, my mom has this weird love for cleaning and I have a house full of boys to make it messy.  Living in a new place has definitely been easier since we have live in babysitters (when they are here that is) and a family connection right down a flight of stairs.

There are so many struggles to having my parents live with us.  My mother lives right down a flight of stairs.  Need I say more?  She is a lovely person, the kind that all our friends wanted as their own.  She is funny, caring, generous, but she is MY mother and so there are years of living with each other that we are forced to confront each and everyday when they are here.  Each "hello" can sometimes have it's own deep dark unique meaning that stems back to when I was sixteen and she said "fill in any annoying parent comment here" to me or to when I was sixteen and screamed "fill in any ridiculously obnoxious teen comment here" to her.   And then there is the added stress of Chris having to share space with his in laws.  Which he does so graciously.  Thank you my love, you are the best!! Top all this off with their leaving and ultimate return back to our nest every few months where we all have to readjust to each other over and over.

Multi-generational living takes patience, humility, love, a sense of humour, honesty with a large dose of respect and acceptance.  I am sure it takes a lot more but those are some of the things that I have needed most and am still working on.