Learning about what our first respite fostering situation would be like didn't take long at all. We signed the papers on June 1st, 2011 and within a few days we were asked to provide respite care the following weekend. It was a joy. The boys had a blast with children and I am sure the feeling was mutual. It was such an enjoyable weekend filled with imagination, engineering, friendship and giggles. Within a few days of that weekend we were approached again about respite for a one week in July for two young children. We are pretty excited to be doing that as well. Although much more preparation is having to be done with putting up baby gates and securing the pool.
In June we attended a regional Adoption Resource Exchange. It was a much smaller event than the first one we attended in Toronto. We didn't really think we would come across any different situations than in Toronto but we are now an AdoptReady family and wanted to see if we felt differently now that we were approved. We only stayed a short while as it was very small. Just before we about to leave I asked Chris about a sibling group of children who were out of our original parametres. We talked a bit about and spoke with the worker and decided to not put in an Expression of Interest but would talk with our own Adoption worker as it was quite different than our original plan. We had a lovely lunch and went shopping but all we could talk about was whether we could accommodate this sibling group. After a lot of discussion concentrated in a short period of time we went back to the event and decided to put in our Expression of Interest.
This sibling group diverged completely from how we envisioned our family growing but the more we talked the more it seemed like it could be an ideal situation. We knew that we could provide a wonderful environment for the children but was it what we wanted? I think the answer is yes. Our homestudy has been requested, we know that they felt it was strong and a good match for the children however we are a distance from their county and there are a couple of families in their area who also expressed interest and are exploring those options. I am not sure where we are at. I think that we are still in their possible file and have no doubt that location is our barrier for now.
I thought the homestudy and waiting for the approval left us feeling uncertain but the journey of uncertainty is just beginning apparently. It is unlikely we will be the most ideal match for these children but knowing they will be matched with another wonderful family makes it easier. It is never an easy process, adoption is an experience based on loss. The grave loss for the birth parents, the loss for the child of their birth family, often times the loss for a couple who may never conceive, these are never positive things. It can be hard to feel good sometimes about it all knowing there is a mother out there who has lost her children. Whether founded or not I don't imagine she sees it that way nor the birth father. The loss for them is not less.
