For many homeschooling mothers, or mothers who 'swim against the current' it can be easy to wonder if you are doing the right thing. Deep down you know it is what is right for you family but the little doubts can creep in from time to time. With life learning in particular the lack of planned learning and set curriculum makes it challenging at first to know we are 'doing right' by our children. That is it can be challenging for those of us coming from a culture entrenched in the belief that institutional schooling is the gold standard and only choice. I am not free of those doubts at times and as I have said in previous posts there are things my children miss out on because they are not in school. Comparing a schooled child and homeschooled child is a tricky thing. Homeschooling, specifically environments where the set curriculum of the school system is not followed, like life learning, cannot easily be compared. For example in life learning it is not uncommon for a child to begin reading at 9 or even beyond and go on to be proficient readers. Reading is not often 'taught' in a life learning environment but rather allowed to develop and is supported. At least that is how it is in our family. There are things that schooled children have been taught that my children don't know or are not proficient at. And there are areas that my children would not have been able to develop had they been in school.
The comparison trap that so many parents get into from the moment the find out they are pregnant is still a snare even as children grow. Are 'her' children better because they are sports oriented and play hockey, soccer, baseball....., is that child better because he is talented in music and can play guitar, piano and violin at 8, does that parent have the 'right stuff' because their child is outgoing and charismatic? The comparisons do both the children and the parents injustice. How often do we use these comparisons and do not question where the status quo originated in the first place?
So how do we know that we are doing the right thing? There are no hard and fast rules, there is no prescribed way that will guarantee a favourable outcome. We have to depend on our own gut, our instincts and inner voice that tell us if what we are doing feels comfortable. We also have to be open to new ideas and taking what may seem like an uncharted journey. Chances are though others have been there before you so find support systems and circles of friends to talk about the challenges of navigating the unknown. We have to own our decisions.
This post idea started out as a simple share a moment kind of post on something the boys said yesterday. It reminded me that we are doing okay with homeschooling in our family despite how obscure the outcome can seem sometimes. Yesterday they gave me a personal tangible piece of evidence that I am not doing 'wrong' by them or limiting them. It is a simple thing but for me it holds value. It means that I am giving them opportunity to absorb information around them without too much contrived teaching.
At the last minute I was finalizing my meeting plan for my LLL meeting. It was a hectic moment and I needed confirmation that I was using a word appropriately. Although I knew the meaning I wanted to confirm my use of the word "apathetic" so I asked Chris what he would say the meaning was. Without giving Chris a moment to respond Seamus (11) and Liam (10) opened their mouths sounding like verbal dictionaries. From the table I heard them talking over each other describing to me what they thought apathetic meant using the terms "not caring, being completely unaware of peoples needs,
thinking about only your own things and not caring for others needs and not being sympathetic". I sat for a minute a little astonished that they knew the general meaning of the word and how it could be used. I asked them if maybe we had used the word apathetic as one of our words of the day in the last couple weeks but that didn't seem to be the case. They were just familiar with the meaning and confidently so. I am so used to hearing them talk incessantly about video games and designing video games and the ideas for video games that I was beginning to wonder if they were absorbing or really being absorbed by anything more than video games. I realized (again) at that moment that they are open to the world around them. They are aware of what they hear, are able to take it in, process it and on their own use that information. I didn't need to teach them the meaning of apathetic nor the spelling (although at this point Liam or Eoin's version of the spelling would be creative.... readable, discernible and maybe not correct but creative none the less). They knew the meaning of apathy through living life. Maybe they learned it from playing a video game even :D.
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