Yesterday morning when I woke up I was quickly joined by my youngest who crawled out of his own bed and climbed under the covers for a good morning cuddle. What a lovely way to wake up; the smiling face of someone who loves you unconditionally. I laid quietly with him snuggled into my arm just listening to him chatter on about anything and everything. He is a happy guy most times but in the morning he has the most genuine contented look on his face.
Monday morning at our LLL enrichment meeting the topic of discussion was parenting in shades of gray. We talked about the "yes" and "oh hell no" things we thought we would or would never do as parents before we became parents. Experience changes things. Beliefs can turn from clear cut to the shades of gray quickly. As an 'expert' in childrearing before I became a parent, affirmed in my mind even more by the fact that I was trained in early childhood development, there were very clear things that I would or would not do.
Woulds:
Be the boss
Go back to work (at least part time)
Put my children in French immersion
Revised Woulds:
Try to be a fair parent
Homeschool
Stay home happily for 12 years and going
Would nots:
Let the children in our bed
Spank
Nurse after they could talk
Change my lifestyle because of children
Revised Would nots:
Have my babies sleep in another room
SPANK *this will be a would not/ hell no forever*
Wean before they are ready, even beyond first words
Take back my lifestyle without children ever
I clearly remember sharing with a parent who wanted my advice as a professional on what to do with her 2 year old who would get up in the night and join them in their room. My sound advice? Put up a gate so she can't get out of the room and after a few nights she will probably just give up trying to get their attention. Worst advice EVER! If I had followed my own advice there are so many precious moments with each of our boys cuddled in next to us that we would never give up even for more bedspace through their younger years. And I am here to scream at the top of my lungs....Co-sleeping did not lead to bad habits sleeping habits! The only habit that came from co-sleeping was being attentive to our children and learning to appreciate the moments that are gone too fast as they grow.
There are only a few things now that are in a clear cut category for us, the rest we have come to realize could at some time become a gray area. We will not limit ourselves to what we thought we would do because that is the way it is done.
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