Unconventional would be a word that could be used to describe more than the learning atmosphere in our home. It is not a conscious effort to do things differently. In fact I have found that the choices I have made and we have made as a couple have often created more challenges. It has brought unbelievable joy as well. However it is what it is and I have found myself living an unconventional life. It is conventional in so many aspects as well. We have a home, kids, cars, a dog.....
Crunchy mama ( see meaning "crunchy mama" ) type things are becoming more and more common. Babywearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, responsive parenting seem to be gaining more appeal to mothers. Attachment parenting, attraction parenting ( Scott Noelle's Daily Groove ), unconditional parenting, whichever term is used, is not the easiest parenting journey to take. It can feel lonely when there is no one around you who seems to hold the same philosophy. It can also bring parents some of the greatest connections they will ever know!
Homeschooling was just one more adventure that was off the beaten path for us. Even within the homeschooling community we have chosen an unconventional style. There seem to be so many labels to define what and how people do things. When we began parenting we discovered the "attachment parenting' philosophy and I excitedly told everyone about our attachment parenting approach. In part due to the light that came on when I learned about how breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing could profoundly affect parents and children and partly because I was still learning about what kind of parent I was and the label helped me figure it out. After 10 years I don't use the term attachment parenting often and almost never in talking about my parenting style. Not because I don't believe in the ideals, I still do, and strongly. I don't use it because it seems to be connected more to parenting young children and because I am more than just those ideals.
In homeschooling I needed to find my way as well (and still am finding my way). We tried on different terms and different philosophies. We went through the school at home approach for a very short time and then we didn't and I called what I did unschooling for a while. But when I labeled myself it felt as though I were limited to what the term meant to the majority of people. We do unschool but we are not radical unschoolers. Last year we used no curriculum at home but this year has brought new outlooks and we will be adding in some lesson work. Our approach is so fluid that it would be hard to pin it down to one style.
This year we will have "Focus' days", as so well termed by my 7 year old. Monday will be a day that we try to catch up on projects that have been left undone. For example the boys decided to make a landscape to play with their military toys that is being completed slowly. Although projects can be worked on whenever during the week having Project Day on Monday reminds us of the things we started and haven't finished. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are "Focus Days". Each child has time during those three days they spend focusing on basic academic skills they would like to accomplish. Our 7 year old has about an hour's worth of time over the three days up to our oldest at 11 years old having 2.5 hours of focus time. And Friday is Field Trip day. Again like Project Day, this day can happen whenever during the week but giving it a day reminds us of getting out and doing community activities.
Recently we gave away our underused exercise equipment and turned that room into our creativity room for the boys. It is pretty :D. I found IKEA this year and we have become best friends. Each boy now has a workspace of their own. This was my way of eliminating the clutter on my kitchen table after the daily drawing or sculpting sessions. They seem to love it and we can eat dinner each night without cleaning up a huge mess.
One motivation in creating a "school" type room and beginning our "Focus Days" is based on another unconventional journey that we may be taking. So, I am conforming to be unconventional. I am conforming because we are opening our lives up to be put under a microscope. We have decided that after years of discussing it we are proceeding with the next step in considering adoption. My intent is not to hide our learning philosophy or that we do not "school" at home, but an open child led approach is not easily understood by many people. It will be a smoother process, I feel, if the Children's Aid Society Adoption Resource worker will be able to see what we do.
We don't fit into any mold. We are what we are and we do what we do. Our approach to parenting will change with circumstance and as the boys develop. To say we do things one particular way or another would not be accurate. Even to use unconventional as a broad term for myself would be inaccurate as I conform when the need calls for it.
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