Bedtime. UGH! I hate the sleep topic. I hate it because it is one of those parenting affairs that is surrounded by strong opinions that come from everyone from your local grocer to your dog groomer. What is the questions parents get most? "Is she sleeping through the night". So what do parents think about most? "Is she sleeping through the night.
Sleep training, cry it out, gentle sleep solutions.......Sleep solutions? Sleep or lack there of during the years that we parent is not something that needs to be solved. It is what it is. Babies wake frequently, get over it!!! Yep that was harsh.
What I really mean is....this too shall pass. Many mothers find that they will get sleep again. Infact many mothers of infants find they get sleep just fine when they follow their instincts and the practice of many many mothers before them, tending to their babies at night. Sleep 'problems' are not even a universal world wide parenting issue. There are cultures that would look at a North American parent sideways with mention of sleep deprivation. Baby sleep patterns: A guide for the science-minded parent by Gwen Dewar PhD lists other cultures where babies are not expected to have solitary sleep and discusses the myth of 'sleeping through the night'.
Jan Hunt of The Natural Child Project has compiled a wonderful list of sleep articles by numerous authors including James J McKenna of the Mother-Baby Behavioural Sleep institute. James J McKenna has been instrumental in ongoing sleep studies for mothers and babies as well as advocating for safe sleep recommendations.
So when you are tired and awake because you are waiting for your baby to fall asleep in the next room. Peruse a few of these interesting resources you may be surprised by what you find.
I'll admit - I felt a lot of pressure to have Sloan sleeping through the night, on her own, and putting herself to sleep (not when she was a tiny baby, but after she turned one or so). I actually still remember my Mum laying with me and rubbing my back and singing to me...probably until I was 5 or 6 at least...and I can put myself to sleep just fine now. I finally gave myself permission to just go with my gut (admittidly after 1 or 2 horribly failed attempts at cry it out - that seems to be everyones solution!) and now our bedtime routine is much more smooth and filled with snuggles! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a nice memory to have of night time with your mum and now as Sloan's momma. I am so glad that you are a part of 'the Group' and are able to be share such positive mothering choices. When I think of you Joelene, I smile :D.
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