Good mother

Today in front of a bunch of women I made the claim that I was a damn good mother.  Said for effect, sure, however I believe it with all my heart.  I am.

I am a good mother because I try. I try to find new ways or use the old ways that work. I try to be better, not just as a mother but as a wife and person. I don't do everything right, I don't do much right sometimes. So what makes me a good mother? I recognize that I am not going to do it all right, then I work at finding ways to not make the same mistakes.  I am a thinking mother.

Motherhood is what I have chosen as my career.  I made the conscious choice to make this my job and I love my job.  It is not all that I am but it certainly takes a big portion of my day, of my thoughts.   I take my job home with me at night ; D.

I am good at my job. It is a job though where my competence doesn't always make the difference I would like it to. From watching other damn good mothers I have learned that good mothering does not guarantee outcomes.  I have seen damn good mothers cry as their teen or adult children struggle through trauma, through drug addiction, through depression.   Our children grow and their experiences soon are out of our hands.  Our children grow and what they do with their lives eventually is up to them. We can only control our choices.  And then we can only hope that those choices help make our children's lives easier.

Each mother has her style.  Too often we don't recognize that there is more than one way.  We need to celebrate the differences; learn from one another.    Mothering, good mothering in my opinion, takes courage.  To mother well a woman needs to be thoughtful.  A mother needs to be fearless and protective.  A mother needs to be cautious and trusting.  A mother needs to feel valued and KNOW her value.

Are you a damn good mother?