Last month Chris and I attended the Adoption Resource Exchange in Toronto. It met with mixed reactions from family and friends. All were supportive of course but seemed to feel uncomfortable with the idea of presenting children for adoption in such a way. It felt too much like and auction for them I think. I can't say that Chris and I didn't have our reservations about what it would look like. We certainly wondered what it would be like and how we would react. We feared that we would feel compelled to want to 'save' all the children.
What we came away with from that day is so far from what we expected! It was not an auction, it was not a garish display of needy children. It was quiet and respectful. It was filled with individuals and couples interested in giving homes to children who do not have permanent homes. There was a sense of urgency for some that they stand out to the workers they spoke to so that they would be considered for the children they felt they may be a match for. Chris and I didn't feel that urgency. It surprised me, I think it surprised us both.
What we came away with is that we now are confident that we will not make this decision with only our hearts. We do not feel a pull to 'save' all the children. We know that there is a match somewhere for children and it may not be our family. It became clear to us that the pull we did feel was toward older children. Together we felt we may be a good match in a couple of years for a child over the age of 8. We did find children who we might have expressed interest in but it always seemed like the oldest child in the sibling group was only a few months younger or older than our youngest son.
Adoption may not be in our immediate future....although life can change on a dime....but it will mostly like be a part of our future. I embrace my family as it is if that is the way life takes us and I am ready to nurture more children when the time comes.
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