The break I didn't know I wanted

It is March Break here.  The end of Winter week long break for the schools.   It really doesn't mean much to our family but we are riding that train too and taking the week easy. As a last minute thought I asked the boys if they wanted to attend a day camp this week at a museum in a neighbouring town.  I am not good with pre-planning.   I learned a lesson though as the program was full as were all the others in near by towns.  I didn't realize how much I would have loved to have a few days to just hang out at the house by myself, free to clean without being followed by three mess making tornadoes until I was in a place to not have it.  

After a bit of a pout I have rallied.  Really hanging out with the boys is easy for the most part but it can get lonely and isolating here living a bit more rurally.  Sometimes a short break is what you need to re-energize. I am sure the frustration I felt at not getting what I didn't realize I wanted was on the heels of feeling a bit discouraged with homeschooling in this small community. The homeschool network that I am hoping to encourage in the area is not really going anywhere and in fact I had found out that some of the families I know in the area have been getting together casually over the last little while.  That was a blow, as they would be aware of my interest to connect from previous conversations and attempts at getting something going  .  Was I discluded purposely? I don't think so but it doesn't make it easier to swallow.  I must say it is hard to keep a positive outlook when you feel alone in what you are doing. 

Have I considered putting the boys in school?  More times than can be imagined.   Of course there could be benefits in putting them in a school system.  They would possibly have the same knowledge as their peers. They would have more opportunities to meet kids and therefore possibly make new friends. I know they want to make more friends so that is tempting. Yes, I think about it on a regular basis.  I re-evaluate whether what we have chosen is still working for our family.  I don't know if I would feel the need to think on it as often if there was some type of support system that I could lean on.   Online groups do not do the same as person to person communications.  Being near people with a common lifestyle choice can give strength. 

I do think about whether homeschooling was or still is the right decision for us.   I am not naive enough to think that they are not missing out on somethings because they are not in school. An active homeschool network can more than make up for what they may miss out on in a school system but we don't have that to work with here so I know the boys are at a disadvantage in some ways because they are not in school. 

I am not anti school. The decision to homeschool does not automatically mean that a parent stands in opposition to the school system.  I don't feel that all problems stem from children attending school.  However it is difficult to deny that children in the school system are facing premature stressors.  And I recognize that some or many of the social opportunities they would get in school are not positive ones.  It is not better to have more of a bad thing than too little of a good thing.  Of course the boys are not devoid of social opportunities as we actively work to give them opportunities to be involved in community sports and groups as well as maintain contact with the friends they have made however it cannot be denied that without a network of home learning families they are getting less time around other people than schooled children.

No matter how tempting some aspects of enrolling them in the local school can be our conclusion always ends the same way.  No matter how challenging this has been here it is not worth what they will lose going to school.  Innocence, sense of self, creative tendencies, authentic behaviour, interest in family, kindness, empathy, freedom, and time to just be themselves are just a few of things that would be affected if they were in school and we are just not willing to give that up for the possibility of a friendship here or there.  

I can keep hoping we will find a local network of homeschoolers but in the mean time we will work with what we have and be confident in knowing that what we choose for our family works!