Room with a view

Our Resource Worker from CAS came by the other day for her regularly scheduled visit. She has stopped by about every two months since our approval this spring.  This is our Foster care Resource worker, we also have an Adoption Resource worker.  They have both been warm, friendly and ready to answer any questions we have.  I look forward to having the Foster Resource worker visit, we always go over the scheduled time chatting.   The personal feel she brings to our conversations is not what I expected at all from the CAS.  No doubt my opinion was baseless but I assumed that the workers would be more clinical and cold.  That has not been the case for the most part.  We have come across some great staff who are professional and personable.

Lately Chris and I have been discussing the option of opening ourselves to 'fostering with a view to adopt'.  When we started the process we indicated we were interested in adoption only.  That changed to choosing to provide respite care to foster families for a weekend or during their vacation.  Our experience with respite fostering has been limited but positive.  It is a great opportunity to get a feel for how our family dynamic works with children of varying needs, and we enjoy having extra children around. 
Fostering with a view is essentially fostering with the agreement that if the children become crown wards without access then the foster family would adopt them legally.  Currently I believe that children in our part of the country are only adoptable when they have a crown ward without access judgement meaning a judge determines whether the best interest for the child is to remove any and all visits with the birth parents/family making them wards of the crown and eligible for adoption or to allow continued visits or the option of visits, even when reunification will not work. The child then remains in long term foster care with access visits for the birth family. 

This can be a risky and emotional roller coaster for the family who wants to adopt the child.  The benefit is children have the potential for less moves throughout their time in the foster system.  The dilemma for the family hoping to adopt is opening their lives to possibility of including this little person or young adult into their lives forever but with the potential that CAS will determine reunification with the birth parent is ideal or a judge will order the child to return to the custody of the birth parent.

If we are to be presented with a fostering with a view to adopt opportunity we would essentially be putting our adoption plans on standstill to foster instead.  It could culminate in an adoption or it may be that we spend years as foster parents while we root for the birth parents to reorganize their lives to better parent.  We have to consider the loss that our family could go through if adoption isn't the outcome.  How would the boys handle that? Chris? or myself?   Will I become as possessive about a foster child as I have heard some foster with a view families can be?  I would hope not but I have learned that until I experience it I don't know how I will deal.