With the boys away for the week Chris and I took advantage of a dusk to dawn showing at a local-ish drive in. We are about one hour drive from three different drive ins. We absolutely love taking the boys. It is so much fun to pile everyone up in the back of the car with blankets and pillows to watch movies on a huge screen. We used to all fit in the car but this year it was apparent that the boys have outgrown that, with Seamus very quickly reaching my own height we just don't have the room.Chris and I have been pushed outside with lawn chairs. Zero gravity lawn chairs are an incredibly comfortable way to watch a movie under the dark summer sky!!
Being that the movie list is limited to the boys ages and appropriateness we don't always get to go when the line up doesn't work. Flying solo, or dual I suppose, meant that we could go and watch movies Chris and I had been looking forward to. On top of that we could go to the all night quadruple feature! All for $24, you cannot beat that! The boys actually would easily make it through a dusk to dawn event but the movies after 2 am aren't usually directed to them. It is not so easy for Chris and I, but we did it. We made it through all 4 movies (The Change Up, Crazy, Stupid Love, Bridesmaids, and Bad Teacher) and home before we crashed. Once our head's hit the pillow however we were out.
I was a little worse for wear the next day. I didn't get to sleep in as long as I would have liked due to our dog needing some care. She didn't really sleep much during the movies but that didn't seem to phase her at 9 am when she wanted breakfast. It didn't matter to her that we had only got in less than 3 hours before. It was worth the sleep deprivation though. Cuddling together under the stars is so much fun.
How long has it been since you been to a drive in? Find one and go! They are perfect for families with babies and toddlers. Parents with tiny ones get to watch what they want while their little ones sleep. They are none the wiser as they doze in the back. Babies are portable they can go almost anywhere. For that matter I used to take the baby to the theatre too, we watched while the baby nursed and slept in the sling. If they got fussy I just walked out in the hall until they settled. Actually Eoin has been to concerts too. He took in a Great Big Sea Concert when he was just 5 months old, we just made sure he had the added protection of ear plugs. You don't have to limit all your activities when children arrive or leave them behind with babysitters....although that is nice at times too ( I write as my children are gone visiting for a week without us ;) ). The more we start including our children in social activities the more normalized it will become.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Empty nest
Our nest is empty....well at least for this week.
My parents are spending a week in the city where we used to live helping my brother with his house reno. They have been gone most of this year travelling for pleasure and for work. Their time with the boys has been limited. The separation has been hard on them and the boys. They are two of the best grandparents kids could ask for. When my mother realized she was not coming straight home from their trek out west she asked if I could meet her half way to drop them off for the week. I wasn't keen on the 4 hour round trip trek but I knew that it would mean a lot for all of them.
So much for ambitious intentions week. I am getting all ramped up to begin "school" and they head off for a vacation. In truth, the flexibility of home learning is one of the reasons I enjoy it so much. While they are there maybe they can even absorb some knowledge on how to install in-floor heating. Guaranteed they will learn MORE about being the centre of attention to their grandparents and aunts and uncles. Eoin actually said to me the morning they left, "mom I will stay home with you". To my response "you would miss going to uncle Darren's" he didn't even let me take a breath before he retracted with "ummm no never mind I am going". Uncles are too much fun I guess to miss out on even if it means you are leaving your mother behind. Now that my sister lives in the same city, after living north for a long time, they will be even more spoiled.
I had expected them to head out on Monday or Tuesday of this week though so I am a bit thrown. My cousin was down, or up really, this week visiting her husband who is working around here for a while. I mentioned that I would have to meet up with my mother later in the week to drop the kids off and at that moment we both realized that she was going back to the same place the next day. Lightbulb! She could take them back with her. Give it a few minutes and.....lightbulb over my mommy brain....they have never travelled so far with someone they don't really know. They have met her a couple of times but they are not really familiar with her like I am. I really thought they would hesitate when I proposed it to them. No hesitation. Well Eoin looked a little uncertain but that quickly passed. I was really proud of them. At their age I would have been quite anxious about travelling with someone I didn't really know.
Sometimes you wonder, or more truly I wonder, if because they spend so much time with the parents that they will become unable to spread their wings readily. If we don't get them used to staying or being with other people when they are younger will they buck it as they grow older? That being said our boys have spent time with people in our circle of trust from young ages when they showed a level of comfort and readiness. They have never been forced or coerced into day camps or time away from us with family if they were not comfortable. A decision we felt confident in at the time but there is always that wondering as they get older and they don't spread their wings as wide when you think they should if you should have encouraged more separation. They are proving to me that as they grow and mature there is less and less to worry about in terms of their independence and sense of adventure. Just give it time and the time will come when they are ready to soar. It may not be when you expect it to but it will come. We are not at soaring yet but they are taking their steps off the branches into new unknowns.
Wondering about the importance of maintaining connection with your children as they grow? Think about reading Hold On To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate M.D..
Warning: I found that it can be a dry read at times but it is worth it. It can challenge current thinking on the value placed on family and friends.
My parents are spending a week in the city where we used to live helping my brother with his house reno. They have been gone most of this year travelling for pleasure and for work. Their time with the boys has been limited. The separation has been hard on them and the boys. They are two of the best grandparents kids could ask for. When my mother realized she was not coming straight home from their trek out west she asked if I could meet her half way to drop them off for the week. I wasn't keen on the 4 hour round trip trek but I knew that it would mean a lot for all of them.
So much for ambitious intentions week. I am getting all ramped up to begin "school" and they head off for a vacation. In truth, the flexibility of home learning is one of the reasons I enjoy it so much. While they are there maybe they can even absorb some knowledge on how to install in-floor heating. Guaranteed they will learn MORE about being the centre of attention to their grandparents and aunts and uncles. Eoin actually said to me the morning they left, "mom I will stay home with you". To my response "you would miss going to uncle Darren's" he didn't even let me take a breath before he retracted with "ummm no never mind I am going". Uncles are too much fun I guess to miss out on even if it means you are leaving your mother behind. Now that my sister lives in the same city, after living north for a long time, they will be even more spoiled.
I had expected them to head out on Monday or Tuesday of this week though so I am a bit thrown. My cousin was down, or up really, this week visiting her husband who is working around here for a while. I mentioned that I would have to meet up with my mother later in the week to drop the kids off and at that moment we both realized that she was going back to the same place the next day. Lightbulb! She could take them back with her. Give it a few minutes and.....lightbulb over my mommy brain....they have never travelled so far with someone they don't really know. They have met her a couple of times but they are not really familiar with her like I am. I really thought they would hesitate when I proposed it to them. No hesitation. Well Eoin looked a little uncertain but that quickly passed. I was really proud of them. At their age I would have been quite anxious about travelling with someone I didn't really know.
Sometimes you wonder, or more truly I wonder, if because they spend so much time with the parents that they will become unable to spread their wings readily. If we don't get them used to staying or being with other people when they are younger will they buck it as they grow older? That being said our boys have spent time with people in our circle of trust from young ages when they showed a level of comfort and readiness. They have never been forced or coerced into day camps or time away from us with family if they were not comfortable. A decision we felt confident in at the time but there is always that wondering as they get older and they don't spread their wings as wide when you think they should if you should have encouraged more separation. They are proving to me that as they grow and mature there is less and less to worry about in terms of their independence and sense of adventure. Just give it time and the time will come when they are ready to soar. It may not be when you expect it to but it will come. We are not at soaring yet but they are taking their steps off the branches into new unknowns.
Wondering about the importance of maintaining connection with your children as they grow? Think about reading Hold On To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate M.D..
Warning: I found that it can be a dry read at times but it is worth it. It can challenge current thinking on the value placed on family and friends.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
The pets we love
Pets add something extra to our lives. They love us unconditionally, they let us cuddle them, they are the empathetic ear to childhood woes, and they are loyal to the end. They are also really really expensive.
Three years ago we fell prey to the cute puppy syndrome. Our neighbour brought over their new puppy and somehow a few days later we found ourselves the family to his litter mate/sister. We had talked about a pet dog for a number of years so it was not completely spur of the moment decision. Both Chris and I had dogs as children and wanted the kids to experience that connection as well. We knew dogs were expensive and a big responsibility. One of my 'pet' peeves ; ) is when people do not take pet ownership seriously enough and have animals coming in and out of their home on a revovling basis. If you are going to buy a dog it is a lifetime commitment. Of course there are circumstances where life happenings mean you have to move a dog to a different family but inconvenience shouldn't be one of them. Know what you are doing when you buy a dog!
As much as we love our dog Willow, a shiny black lab, we also still see her as a dog and understand that we will have to make decisions for her health and possibly her death that we would never have to make for a family member. That doesn't make it easy though. We know that the pocket book is not magically without a bottom. There is a bottom line for us with our pet.
This past year seems to be stretching that bottom line some. Last winter she suddenly fell ill and we had to utilize the vet services. She was vomitting blood and generally unwell. Many hundreds of dollars later we find out no reason behind it but she gets better. Can you really put a dog down for a week of vomitting blood? We couldn't. Not long after she somehow injures her leg and it is bck to the vet to figure it out. Many more hundreds of dollars later we find out she may have hip dysplasia. Now this was a case of a vet who just didn't listen as I expressed loudly that I doubted it was the hips since she was only lifting the one leg. When we have to go back a month or so later because she was still limping we pay more hundreds of dollars to find out that no it was not the hips but rather a common lab injury where they tear the ligament in their knee. We were referred to a big city vet surgeon and the surgery would be about $4000???????? Yes that is crazy.
I read up on a more conservative method of healing, aptly called conservative management. We could not see sinking $4000 more than we already had into a dog. Conservative Management entailed very very restricted movement for at least 8 weeks and likely more closer to a year. She did well on that and lived pain free, but was not healing to the point of being able to run ever again. She is an active or was an active 3 year old lab, who adored running in the water at the beach and playing with her incredibly active brother next door. We came across some info on a vet we used to take her to. He performs the surgery we need at a lower cost than the big city vets. Why didn't our new vet recommend this local vet??? Good question and I would love an answer to that one day. After talking it over we decided to give her a life of activity. In part I must admit I wasn't too keen on taking her out to pee on a leash for the next 10 years.
We are now just passing the first week post surgery and I think she is doing well. She looks like she has a punk hairdo, has an 8 " incision and is quite sedate but happy.
The cost of the surgery was a big stretch for us even if it was much lower than the original plan and I don't know if we would have done it if she were older and moving on in years but we made the decision to put the investment into our dog. Now the challenge is to keep that investment safe and making sure she doesn't damage herself during the long recovery period.
The things we do for our animals :D
Three years ago we fell prey to the cute puppy syndrome. Our neighbour brought over their new puppy and somehow a few days later we found ourselves the family to his litter mate/sister. We had talked about a pet dog for a number of years so it was not completely spur of the moment decision. Both Chris and I had dogs as children and wanted the kids to experience that connection as well. We knew dogs were expensive and a big responsibility. One of my 'pet' peeves ; ) is when people do not take pet ownership seriously enough and have animals coming in and out of their home on a revovling basis. If you are going to buy a dog it is a lifetime commitment. Of course there are circumstances where life happenings mean you have to move a dog to a different family but inconvenience shouldn't be one of them. Know what you are doing when you buy a dog!
As much as we love our dog Willow, a shiny black lab, we also still see her as a dog and understand that we will have to make decisions for her health and possibly her death that we would never have to make for a family member. That doesn't make it easy though. We know that the pocket book is not magically without a bottom. There is a bottom line for us with our pet.
This past year seems to be stretching that bottom line some. Last winter she suddenly fell ill and we had to utilize the vet services. She was vomitting blood and generally unwell. Many hundreds of dollars later we find out no reason behind it but she gets better. Can you really put a dog down for a week of vomitting blood? We couldn't. Not long after she somehow injures her leg and it is bck to the vet to figure it out. Many more hundreds of dollars later we find out she may have hip dysplasia. Now this was a case of a vet who just didn't listen as I expressed loudly that I doubted it was the hips since she was only lifting the one leg. When we have to go back a month or so later because she was still limping we pay more hundreds of dollars to find out that no it was not the hips but rather a common lab injury where they tear the ligament in their knee. We were referred to a big city vet surgeon and the surgery would be about $4000???????? Yes that is crazy.
I read up on a more conservative method of healing, aptly called conservative management. We could not see sinking $4000 more than we already had into a dog. Conservative Management entailed very very restricted movement for at least 8 weeks and likely more closer to a year. She did well on that and lived pain free, but was not healing to the point of being able to run ever again. She is an active or was an active 3 year old lab, who adored running in the water at the beach and playing with her incredibly active brother next door. We came across some info on a vet we used to take her to. He performs the surgery we need at a lower cost than the big city vets. Why didn't our new vet recommend this local vet??? Good question and I would love an answer to that one day. After talking it over we decided to give her a life of activity. In part I must admit I wasn't too keen on taking her out to pee on a leash for the next 10 years.
We are now just passing the first week post surgery and I think she is doing well. She looks like she has a punk hairdo, has an 8 " incision and is quite sedate but happy.
The cost of the surgery was a big stretch for us even if it was much lower than the original plan and I don't know if we would have done it if she were older and moving on in years but we made the decision to put the investment into our dog. Now the challenge is to keep that investment safe and making sure she doesn't damage herself during the long recovery period.
The things we do for our animals :D
 |
| Willow the happy lab |
 |
| Willow the punk lab |
WARNING GRAPHIC INSICION SHOT
Friday, September 2, 2011
Big world, small world
We live in a small town now where everyone knows each other. People move away for college and come right back to raise their families. I understand why, it is absolutely beautiful here. Slower pace of life, amazing beaches, trees, baby calves everywhere.....they are sooooooo cute. It would be a hard place to leave behind forever.
Here the world is small in a way. It makes sense that everyone knows everyone else. But we have not been small towners for long so I am used to walking down the street and not recognizing a face coming from a big town. We just went back to the "big city" last weekend and Chris commented that even though he spent his entire life there before coming here he didn't not recognize a soul. It really made us appreciate the small town life.
Of course the world is a lot smaller now with the over abundance of social networking. I am not a big Facebooker but I will dabble on occasion when a notification comes to my email. This week my email contained high facebook notification traffic. While on there I see a conversation between my dearest friend from highschool.....LOVE YOU! and another friend from highschool who was way too much of a hoot!!! Simple enough but then somewhere in there the woman I am closest to in this entire world, my 'wife' if you ask my husband.....although I think I am the more girly girly girl of the two of us ;) but I did 'catch' her baby so I will take the role of 'husband'.....is responding as well in a comfortable way, obviously knowing these people. I introduced 'wife' to dearest highschool friend a couple of years ago and know they have chatted on facebook a couple times but where the other connection came in confounded me. Although I could see how they would just become fast and funny friends, they are both crazy. Apparently they worked together for a short time this summer but hit it off right away. It is just interesting that people you care for in separate lives can come together in friendship in a place where you can live for 30 years and not know a face during a walk through the mall.
I am sure we all have a few 'hey how do you know that person' stories. They are nice way to remind us that we really are so connected in this big world. It is a nice feeling for someone who has been transplanted what can seem like a light year away from family and friends.
Here the world is small in a way. It makes sense that everyone knows everyone else. But we have not been small towners for long so I am used to walking down the street and not recognizing a face coming from a big town. We just went back to the "big city" last weekend and Chris commented that even though he spent his entire life there before coming here he didn't not recognize a soul. It really made us appreciate the small town life.
Of course the world is a lot smaller now with the over abundance of social networking. I am not a big Facebooker but I will dabble on occasion when a notification comes to my email. This week my email contained high facebook notification traffic. While on there I see a conversation between my dearest friend from highschool.....LOVE YOU! and another friend from highschool who was way too much of a hoot!!! Simple enough but then somewhere in there the woman I am closest to in this entire world, my 'wife' if you ask my husband.....although I think I am the more girly girly girl of the two of us ;) but I did 'catch' her baby so I will take the role of 'husband'.....is responding as well in a comfortable way, obviously knowing these people. I introduced 'wife' to dearest highschool friend a couple of years ago and know they have chatted on facebook a couple times but where the other connection came in confounded me. Although I could see how they would just become fast and funny friends, they are both crazy. Apparently they worked together for a short time this summer but hit it off right away. It is just interesting that people you care for in separate lives can come together in friendship in a place where you can live for 30 years and not know a face during a walk through the mall.
I am sure we all have a few 'hey how do you know that person' stories. They are nice way to remind us that we really are so connected in this big world. It is a nice feeling for someone who has been transplanted what can seem like a light year away from family and friends.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Blog train
I have been blessed to meet a bunch of wonderful, fantastic, dynamic, creative, thoughtful mothers this past year. One of them decided to start a new blog....not sure what it is called yet.... she was partly encouraged by others in the group who already have blogs. Her email led me to look through some of the other's blogs today. I followed a line that connected them all and started with one of the ladies posting a link on facebook to a beautiful video that she had found about mothering. Check out this Must see video for mothers . And then it was a blog topic here at Hairlesspuppy , and then apparently here at A muddled mama and then here at Funkylindsay.com with some more comments from other wonderful mothers I know spattered in there as well. So now I am going to be a copy cat and share my thoughts on this beautiful video. Here are my thoughts on what I would tell myself if I could go back before each of my births.
Things I would tell myself before Seamus' birth:
*doulas do make a difference and midwifery care is worth it!
*when you cannot talk through contractions you are probably going to have a baby soon (it doesn't matter if labour only started a couple hours ago)
*it is okay to cry, pick yourself up and try again even after you decide to wean
*MAKE NO DECISIONS on breastfeeding between the hours of 1 a.m. and 7 a.m.
*you may not be 'in love' with your baby right away
*forgive yourself!!!
*accept and ask for help
*you don't need a crib (or much of the baby stuff for that matter) but you do need flexibility and an open mind when it comes to night time parenting
Things I would tell myself before Liam's birth:
*you will get frustrated with your first baby when your new baby arrives and you will feel guilty
*your toddler will love you anyway, even when he has to wait for a crying baby
*nursing two at a time feels really weird.....but so worth it
*they will get hurt and it will hurt you to see it
*they really mean it when they say each child is different
Things I would tell myself before Eoin's birth:
*it is okay to cry when one toddler needs a hug, the other insists on being on the potty and the new one needs to nurse (simultaneously)
*you will be able to love each and everyone one of them with all of your heart
*DO NOT take permanent measures to avoid pregnancy before your last baby is well over one year old
Things I would tell myself before Seamus' birth:
*doulas do make a difference and midwifery care is worth it!
*when you cannot talk through contractions you are probably going to have a baby soon (it doesn't matter if labour only started a couple hours ago)
*it is okay to cry, pick yourself up and try again even after you decide to wean
*MAKE NO DECISIONS on breastfeeding between the hours of 1 a.m. and 7 a.m.
*you may not be 'in love' with your baby right away
*forgive yourself!!!
*accept and ask for help
*you don't need a crib (or much of the baby stuff for that matter) but you do need flexibility and an open mind when it comes to night time parenting
Things I would tell myself before Liam's birth:
*you will get frustrated with your first baby when your new baby arrives and you will feel guilty
*your toddler will love you anyway, even when he has to wait for a crying baby
*nursing two at a time feels really weird.....but so worth it
*they will get hurt and it will hurt you to see it
*they really mean it when they say each child is different
Things I would tell myself before Eoin's birth:
*it is okay to cry when one toddler needs a hug, the other insists on being on the potty and the new one needs to nurse (simultaneously)
*you will be able to love each and everyone one of them with all of your heart
*DO NOT take permanent measures to avoid pregnancy before your last baby is well over one year old
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Back to ambitious intentions
Good intentions week starts Tuesday. Most children will be heading off to school for their 1st year or their 12th. We will be starting what I am going to call good intentions week. Although the outcome whether the intentions are fulfilled or not is nether good nor bad, it just 'is'. So I suppose 'good' intentions is a misnomer and implies that I feel I am failing if I don't meet my own intentions. So another good name might be ambitious intentions week, or "getting caught up in it all" intentions week. I am not sure why when this time of year rolls around I feel like we have to jump on the "back to" train. We don't have to go 'back to school' in September. There is no law about the school year beginning in September and ending in June or being focused 9-3 on Monday through Friday. My guess is it is just entrenched in me from my own 13 year school career (not including post secondary). It really is a hard one to shake. We have never followed a traditionally or really mainstream education schedule or process. We are so far from that but every September I get caught up on the preparation bug.
I have sent in our intention to homeschool letter, early this year even. It is not a required letter, and in fact had Seamus and Liam not been enrolled part time for the very short period a couple of years ago the school board wouldn't know they exist. Now that they are on the radar the school board asks for this letter of intent. The letter itself is all a family need to do to indicate they are providing adequate education. Since Eoin was never enrolled in school I am not required to send in a letter for him but I include him anyway.
I have purchased fresh notebooks and pencils. Almost all have been confiscated already to become sketch books. This home seems it is never without someone drawing or doodling. We will be cleaning up the downstairs 'school' room that is currently a sea of action figures. The desks will get organized and washed, Eoin likes his nice and shiny. We are in talks about the goals for the year and reasonable expectations. Do we get up early or is it better to wake up slower and work in the afternoon?
Whether or not we 'school' or we take our usual laid back approach September seems to be a fresh start of sorts. I am a sucker for an opportunity to make changes.
I have sent in our intention to homeschool letter, early this year even. It is not a required letter, and in fact had Seamus and Liam not been enrolled part time for the very short period a couple of years ago the school board wouldn't know they exist. Now that they are on the radar the school board asks for this letter of intent. The letter itself is all a family need to do to indicate they are providing adequate education. Since Eoin was never enrolled in school I am not required to send in a letter for him but I include him anyway.
I have purchased fresh notebooks and pencils. Almost all have been confiscated already to become sketch books. This home seems it is never without someone drawing or doodling. We will be cleaning up the downstairs 'school' room that is currently a sea of action figures. The desks will get organized and washed, Eoin likes his nice and shiny. We are in talks about the goals for the year and reasonable expectations. Do we get up early or is it better to wake up slower and work in the afternoon?
Whether or not we 'school' or we take our usual laid back approach September seems to be a fresh start of sorts. I am a sucker for an opportunity to make changes.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Apathetic (adj.) [ap-uh thet-ik]
For many homeschooling mothers, or mothers who 'swim against the current' it can be easy to wonder if you are doing the right thing. Deep down you know it is what is right for you family but the little doubts can creep in from time to time. With life learning in particular the lack of planned learning and set curriculum makes it challenging at first to know we are 'doing right' by our children. That is it can be challenging for those of us coming from a culture entrenched in the belief that institutional schooling is the gold standard and only choice. I am not free of those doubts at times and as I have said in previous posts there are things my children miss out on because they are not in school. Comparing a schooled child and homeschooled child is a tricky thing. Homeschooling, specifically environments where the set curriculum of the school system is not followed, like life learning, cannot easily be compared. For example in life learning it is not uncommon for a child to begin reading at 9 or even beyond and go on to be proficient readers. Reading is not often 'taught' in a life learning environment but rather allowed to develop and is supported. At least that is how it is in our family. There are things that schooled children have been taught that my children don't know or are not proficient at. And there are areas that my children would not have been able to develop had they been in school.
The comparison trap that so many parents get into from the moment the find out they are pregnant is still a snare even as children grow. Are 'her' children better because they are sports oriented and play hockey, soccer, baseball....., is that child better because he is talented in music and can play guitar, piano and violin at 8, does that parent have the 'right stuff' because their child is outgoing and charismatic? The comparisons do both the children and the parents injustice. How often do we use these comparisons and do not question where the status quo originated in the first place?
So how do we know that we are doing the right thing? There are no hard and fast rules, there is no prescribed way that will guarantee a favourable outcome. We have to depend on our own gut, our instincts and inner voice that tell us if what we are doing feels comfortable. We also have to be open to new ideas and taking what may seem like an uncharted journey. Chances are though others have been there before you so find support systems and circles of friends to talk about the challenges of navigating the unknown. We have to own our decisions.
This post idea started out as a simple share a moment kind of post on something the boys said yesterday. It reminded me that we are doing okay with homeschooling in our family despite how obscure the outcome can seem sometimes. Yesterday they gave me a personal tangible piece of evidence that I am not doing 'wrong' by them or limiting them. It is a simple thing but for me it holds value. It means that I am giving them opportunity to absorb information around them without too much contrived teaching.
At the last minute I was finalizing my meeting plan for my LLL meeting. It was a hectic moment and I needed confirmation that I was using a word appropriately. Although I knew the meaning I wanted to confirm my use of the word "apathetic" so I asked Chris what he would say the meaning was. Without giving Chris a moment to respond Seamus (11) and Liam (10) opened their mouths sounding like verbal dictionaries. From the table I heard them talking over each other describing to me what they thought apathetic meant using the terms "not caring, being completely unaware of peoples needs,
thinking about only your own things and not caring for others needs and not being sympathetic". I sat for a minute a little astonished that they knew the general meaning of the word and how it could be used. I asked them if maybe we had used the word apathetic as one of our words of the day in the last couple weeks but that didn't seem to be the case. They were just familiar with the meaning and confidently so. I am so used to hearing them talk incessantly about video games and designing video games and the ideas for video games that I was beginning to wonder if they were absorbing or really being absorbed by anything more than video games. I realized (again) at that moment that they are open to the world around them. They are aware of what they hear, are able to take it in, process it and on their own use that information. I didn't need to teach them the meaning of apathetic nor the spelling (although at this point Liam or Eoin's version of the spelling would be creative.... readable, discernible and maybe not correct but creative none the less). They knew the meaning of apathy through living life. Maybe they learned it from playing a video game even :D.
The comparison trap that so many parents get into from the moment the find out they are pregnant is still a snare even as children grow. Are 'her' children better because they are sports oriented and play hockey, soccer, baseball....., is that child better because he is talented in music and can play guitar, piano and violin at 8, does that parent have the 'right stuff' because their child is outgoing and charismatic? The comparisons do both the children and the parents injustice. How often do we use these comparisons and do not question where the status quo originated in the first place?
So how do we know that we are doing the right thing? There are no hard and fast rules, there is no prescribed way that will guarantee a favourable outcome. We have to depend on our own gut, our instincts and inner voice that tell us if what we are doing feels comfortable. We also have to be open to new ideas and taking what may seem like an uncharted journey. Chances are though others have been there before you so find support systems and circles of friends to talk about the challenges of navigating the unknown. We have to own our decisions.
This post idea started out as a simple share a moment kind of post on something the boys said yesterday. It reminded me that we are doing okay with homeschooling in our family despite how obscure the outcome can seem sometimes. Yesterday they gave me a personal tangible piece of evidence that I am not doing 'wrong' by them or limiting them. It is a simple thing but for me it holds value. It means that I am giving them opportunity to absorb information around them without too much contrived teaching.
At the last minute I was finalizing my meeting plan for my LLL meeting. It was a hectic moment and I needed confirmation that I was using a word appropriately. Although I knew the meaning I wanted to confirm my use of the word "apathetic" so I asked Chris what he would say the meaning was. Without giving Chris a moment to respond Seamus (11) and Liam (10) opened their mouths sounding like verbal dictionaries. From the table I heard them talking over each other describing to me what they thought apathetic meant using the terms "not caring, being completely unaware of peoples needs,
thinking about only your own things and not caring for others needs and not being sympathetic". I sat for a minute a little astonished that they knew the general meaning of the word and how it could be used. I asked them if maybe we had used the word apathetic as one of our words of the day in the last couple weeks but that didn't seem to be the case. They were just familiar with the meaning and confidently so. I am so used to hearing them talk incessantly about video games and designing video games and the ideas for video games that I was beginning to wonder if they were absorbing or really being absorbed by anything more than video games. I realized (again) at that moment that they are open to the world around them. They are aware of what they hear, are able to take it in, process it and on their own use that information. I didn't need to teach them the meaning of apathetic nor the spelling (although at this point Liam or Eoin's version of the spelling would be creative.... readable, discernible and maybe not correct but creative none the less). They knew the meaning of apathy through living life. Maybe they learned it from playing a video game even :D.
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