I didn't go on the biggest roller coaster this past month at the amusement park. The boys all got on and I am so proud of them. A little bit of me regrets not getting on with them. I love roller coasters, or used to love them....no I still love them but they make me sick to my stomach from all the jostling so I make it through one or two before I am done for the day. The BIG one though frightened me so I didn't go on it. I didn't think I could take the long climb up to the inevitable steep drop down. Not much unlike my fears with adoption. Already the wait in line has been twisty and turny the kind of line up where you think you see the end only to come around the corner to see that there are still hundreds of people before you and possibly hours of waiting in the hot sun.
Each day, and sometimes each hour I waver in my thoughts on whether this is a ride that we should embark. I am waiting in line, not ready to get out of the line but I am not sure if when our ride comes up if we should walk through and not get on or take a deep breath and know that thousands have gotten on before us, survived and most of them loved it.
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